Woo! First episode, check! And we are so unbelievably blessed that Brian Ward, co-host of the Food & Chair Magazine podcast, popped our damn cherry - so to speak. I chat with Brian, a super talented and supportive Toronto-based comedian, and therapist Ekta Hattangady about family expectations. You know, the thing that gives you heartburn before you even go home to your folks over the Holidays. There’s no TUMS for disappointing your mama and papa, but we go into ways we can handle the criticism and self-criticism we often feel in the presence of loved ones.
…Perhaps it was naivety, or perhaps the natural optimism we have in our early twenties - the kind that persists until it gets knocked out of you by life - but I truly thought I would be fine as long as I stayed positive after his death. I made it my mantra that ‘these things happen for a reason’, and ‘if this hadn’t happened, then I wouldn’t have become so strong, or felt motivated enough to get my job and start my exciting life in the city’. All that is great - it’s better than wallowing in misery, griping about ‘why this is happening’ or that ‘it’s so unfair’. But what I was missing was something critical: the understanding that it’s okay to just sit in the shit for a while…
All of us, at one point or another, have a ‘breaking’ moment. It’s the point where your identity clearly breaks and what used to be ceases to, well, be. It could be the loss of a loved one, a break up, a falling out, the loss of sight or limb or job, or maybe your kid just moved out of the house for good. Whatever it is, it’s how your crisis starts. How your crisis ends is by realizing it’s not a crisis at all.